i got a disease, deep inside me

Yo, yo, what up, dawgs? It's been several days since I've posted. For the first day or two, it was because I was just doing the busy holiday thing. Now it's because I feel like poo. I guess I've just caught what's going around. And it sucks. Wah wah, right? Yeah, I guess so.

The holidays have been good to me. I think Dale and I officially went to all of each other's family things. Santa was nicer to me than I expected him to be since I had already gotten all kinds of stuff. But Mom insisted that I ask for something, so I compiled a list of CDs for her to pick from. I figured she'd get me two or three, but she got them all. That was fun. So I've got plenty of good music to be listening to.

*sigh* I don't know what else to say. I'm tired. And I want to do is go to bed. I miss all of you people out there.

you can hug scooter

As I told Holly earlier, I just wish someone would rip my arm off and hang it from the rafters of Heorot. It's popping and grating (as webmd.com calls it) like a million little wing'd mankeys. I guess I need to go to the doctor. Boo. I don't like them people. Maybe if I ignore it, it will go away. Or fall off.

I went Christmas shopping with Dale and his sister today. That was fun, though I didn't really get much shopping done. Actually, I only bought one thing. It's a Wonderful Life on DVD for Mom. But for the most part, I just kinda hung out with them while they did their shopping, which was cool. I got to meet Dale's managers at Best Buy. And I finally made a decision on my gift. I got the Love Actually soundtrack. I'm excited.

Tonight, instead of being a non-existent child, I went with the family (Mom, Dad, Wade, and Day) to Jeri's in Clay. That was a good time. We sat with the owner and his son at the booth because our normal round table was taken. (That's what I love about WebCo.) Anyway, they are both so cute. The little boy is two and just precious. Kids like him make me want to have children.

Well, since tomorrow, the 23rd, is my family's official Christmas shopping day and I sure haven't accomplished much so far, Mom and I are going to go get 'er done. Or at least try to. I can't believe Christmas is almost here. It always sneaks up on me like this. And before I know it, it'll be gone.

feels like the end of the world this sunday night

Well, I didn't die, though I felt like I was going to. I sang and played. Yep, I sure did. I think it was the scariest thing I've ever done in my life. I guess it went well, but I came home and cried. I don't know, I guess it was just a build up of emotion being released. I was so nervous. And then after it was over, I felt vulnerable. That's the only word I can find to describe it. I mean, as soon as the thing was over, I grabbed my guitar and went to the car. I got home, and I couldn't explain it. I just crashed face-down on the couch and cried. And it wasn't because I felt like I did a bad job. I felt like I had professed my undying love to someone, and they didn't return the favor. Does that make sense? Because it's not an accurate analogy. I mean, sheesh. All I did was play a song. Musical performance has an adverse effect on me, I suppose.

That's about all I have to say. I'm tired, and I'm going to bed. All this anxiety and catharsis has down-right worn me out.

it's colder than it looks outside

When I opened this page, there was something I really wanted to say, but for the life of me, I cannot remember. (Ah, yes. The Verve Pipe. I was wondering where that came from...) I think I was thrown off by the fact that I started a post last night but was too tired to finish it, so I saved it as a draft. Now it's not there. Oh, well. It wasn't much or I guess I would've finished the thing. A few highlights, if you want to call them that, I remember: I hate Evansville. Hanukkah gifts are coming from this side of the Ohio. I went to Dale's family's Christmas thing. Good times. I think that's where I fell asleep at the keyboard.

Well, all you people out there, hold on to your seats. Guess what I'm doing tonight. I'm singing and playing at our little Christmas thing at church. I know, I know. I'm as scared as you are. And I know you are scared. Anyway, I'm singing "What Child Is This?" It's my favorite Christmas song, and it's just four little chords (Am, C, G, E). But I can't sing, so I don't even know what I think I'm doing. I keep telling myself that it's not going to be so bad. I mean, it's not a formal thing. It's basically a bunch of people sitting around, talking, eating, and what not, and people get up and sing or play or whatever they do. They can't laugh too hard at me, can they? Oh, well. I'm not doing it for them anyway...

Alright, dawgs. I guess I need to practice or something. I'll keep y'all posted on whether or not I survive. Or if the people listening survive. *whimper*

i've these dreams i'm walking home, home where it used to be

Well, it's been another nothingful day. I slept a lot later than I meant to. I shall not concede to the time of my awakening. All I know is that I jumped up, might've mumbled a few expletives, and went and got me some Honey Bunches of Oats. As I ate my wonderful cereal, I thought of the dreams I had. They involved a convenient store, my FFG mom's car, some tornadoes (there are always tornadoes in my dreams), some clapping Santa Claus lawn-ornaments, me and Ryan in some cheaply made medieval costumes, and an appearance by a man who looked just like one of my late uncles but said he was "just a friend of his." I'm not sure what I smoked before I went to bed, but it didn't mess.

So Mom wouldn't let me be social tonight. On a Friday night. What'd I do wrong? I couldn't figure it out either. So I accompanied her and Dad to Wade and Day's. This is the first time in my life I've been to their house this close to Christmas without the tree being up. That's kinda sad.

I came home and confirmed family get-together plans with Dale for tomorrow. I've been talking to my B/F/F/ (yes, I typed that right) who has finally returned from the dead. Talked to Justin a little. I miss them boys. :'( Anyway, I haven't done much of anything else. My existence is nothing short of boring. But I'm going to bed. My head is about to implode, and Mom and I are supposed to go to Evansville tomorrow morning. Maybe I can get some Hanukkah shopping done. I guess I need to, huh? It's getting down to the wire.