At 5:00 this morning, I am startled out of bed by a knock at my door. It's a very loud, manly knock, which scares me half to death. Still very much asleep, I make my way across the still very much dark living room, kneel beside the window, and peek through the blinds to see a little white car with its lights on, double parked right outside of my door, but I can't see who is doing the knocking. Much to my exacerbated fear, the knocker knocks again. Though it scares me, I begin to succumb to the persistence of this person. If someone is compelled to loudly rap on my door, not once but twice, at five o'clock in the morning, they must really need something. [Cue the serial killer.] I rise from my furtively chosen post to unlock and open the door to see a slightly confused, yet very nicely dressed, young man who is looking for Liz or Leslie or some other L-named person. He is overwhelmingly apologetic. His regret is probably very real, not because he has accidentally awakened a poor girl an hour an a half before she had to get up, but because he probably thinks I am the serial killer, looking very chipper and kind at this hour. But I assure him that it's okay. His guilt from the whole situation alone must be enough punishment, I figure, so I bid him goodnight and go back to bed. And as far as I can tell, this mistaken fellow continues to knock on every door, with the same enthusiasm with which he had knocked on mine, until he finds his L.
Friday, September 10, 2004
Tuesday, September 07, 2004
priorities
I'm not sure if I'm changing them or if they are changing themselves--and me in the process. I'm coming to the realization that if I'm going to be a teacher, or writer or anything for that matter, I'm going to have to start exerting a little more effort. I have to strive for excellence because mediocrity doesn't cut it. And I do want to be a teacher. Sometimes, the scarier it sounds, the more I know it is where I belong. I'm starting to choose challenge over easy. And of course, I'm starting small. Like with that whole Shakespeare journal thing. I know I'd rather not do it, but I know it is going to help me in the long run. I'm beginning to notice little changes like that that I'm making. I'm starting to be more productive than spin my wheels in procrastination. I'm shooting beyond completeness and into quality. So maybe I haven't gotten very far yet, but my mind is heading in that direction. It's quite intimidating but comforting all at the same time when you realized that, when you weren't looking, a little bit of growing up happened. Intimidating because it takes you further down the line into the unknown. Comforting because it wasn't nearly as painful as you had imagined. Well, at least sometimes.
But being caught up in all this priority-rearranging is dangerous. It would be easy to believe that those things that are truly the most important naturally rise to the top on their own. And maybe they do, but left to their own devices, I imagine some unhealthy things could take weighty priority. Yes, school and other educational/vocational experiences are quite important, and I'd say they are moving up the ladder. Maybe they haven't really been relocated, but I'm just starting to pay more attention to them. I don't, however, want them to be the entire focus of my life. As valuable as they are, some things have a greater significance when all is said and done.
There are so many things that deserve my attention that are receiving none. And there are those that I should ignore, but I don't. So forgive me for any neglect during this time of remodeling. But I want to make sure I get this done right.
Sunday, September 05, 2004
welcome to my family
Mom's asleep here on the futon, and the Cosby Show's on Nick at Nite. Dad's asleep in my bed "listening" to some AM-radio NPR-type station. I have made some sweet tea, did dishes, and started a load of towels in the washer. We've only been here for about thirty minutes. Welcome to my family.
Tonight was fun. We spent the afternoon and evening at Sissy's. We ate chili and sat around a fire in the back yard, even though it's not quite fall enough yet. It's like when we're tired of winter and wear T-shirts and flip flops in an attempt to coerce spring into arriving. Anyway, we sat around some chunks of wood burning in an old wheel rim thing for about three hours telling stories. Welcome to my family.
I love it when stories are told that I've never heard before. I relish in the words and swear I'll write them down, but I never do. Phrases like "the blind staggers" and sayings like "when they fall in love, they could just pin their ears back and swallow them whole, and when they've been married for six months, they wish they would've" never make it to the page. But there's nothing like sitting aroound, staring into blazes, soaking up the hilarous and sometimes painful stories of the past, and pondering the future. Learning history in the context that really matters and loving every minute of it. Welcome to my family.
Tonight was fun. We spent the afternoon and evening at Sissy's. We ate chili and sat around a fire in the back yard, even though it's not quite fall enough yet. It's like when we're tired of winter and wear T-shirts and flip flops in an attempt to coerce spring into arriving. Anyway, we sat around some chunks of wood burning in an old wheel rim thing for about three hours telling stories. Welcome to my family.
I love it when stories are told that I've never heard before. I relish in the words and swear I'll write them down, but I never do. Phrases like "the blind staggers" and sayings like "when they fall in love, they could just pin their ears back and swallow them whole, and when they've been married for six months, they wish they would've" never make it to the page. But there's nothing like sitting aroound, staring into blazes, soaking up the hilarous and sometimes painful stories of the past, and pondering the future. Learning history in the context that really matters and loving every minute of it. Welcome to my family.
Thursday, September 02, 2004
good things
When I was digging out the key to my mailbox this afternoon as I was walking back from class, it occurred to me how long the day was though it didn't feel like it. I suppose a Thursday doesn't quite compare with the Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays that start with work at 8:00 and invariably end right on time at 3:20 with Spanish, but it amazed me how quickly all that time between Shakespeare at 9:30 and the end of my earth science lab around 3:00 passed. It struck me as slightly alarming somehow, but I also enjoyed it because I do not feel nearly as worn out as I do on the other days. Of course, I did go to bed at 10:30 last night. Sometimes that helps.
With all of that and despite the fact that I dealt with a total of about three hours of earth science today, it has been a pretty good day. It started with a great debate with myself over whether or not I should do the Shakespeare journal. It's an optional project that would replace 10% of our paper grades for the course. It requires three written pages a week about what ever play we're reading, and once you decide to do it, you have to do it. And if you decide not to participate, you can't later change your mind in hopes of raising your grade. I think it would be good for my in at least two aspects. One, it'll make me keep up with the reading and enhance my understanding. Two, it should help my grade. The problem, however, was that I had not done my journal for today, and he had told us that he was going to have us make our commitment to it this morning. Out of laziness, I found myself in a predicament. I knew I would end up regretting not doing the journal, but I just inexplicably didn't do mine for today. But luckily, ol' Dr. Brown forgot about the whole journal thing, so I have until Tuesday to redeem myself. If only I can convince myself to take advantage of this opportunity.
After earth science lecture, Justin, Alisha, and I headed for the Curris Center for a little lunch. On the way in, I noticed the readership program thing was going on and giving away copies of USA Today. I am quite enthusiastic about this program, so when the lady asked me to fill out a survey, I gladly obliged. She also handed me a ticket on which I would write my name and phone number so that I could be entered into a drawing where the winner would receive a $50 gift certificate to the University Bookstore. I grabbed my paper and went on my merry way. Well, about an hour or so ago, my phone rang, and seeing that it was an on-campus phone number, I figured it might have been one of my FY girls since I had emailed them last night to see how they're doing. But no, it was Jim Baurer at the Curris Center letting me know that my name had been drawn! I never win anything like that. Anyway, I need to remember to go by the office and pick it up.
I totally missed out on Winslowless Wednesday last night, which is quite a sad time, but some time last Spring, I signed up with help with the International Student Ministry at the BSU. Last night was the Welcome Dinner, and I went early to help set up and then stay for the event. I have never in my life had so much fun--at least at the BSU. I made three friends from Taiwan. I barely ate any of my spaghetti because, one, it wasn't all that edible, and two, we were talking non-stop. Between the three of them, they represent a whole range of English proficiency, but that is just a barrier. They are so interested in the way of life here, so full of questions. They were so appreciative of me for spending time with them, but it was quite humbling. I have to realize that just because they do not speak my language perfectly, that does not mean they are not intelligent. They are very brave people who have worked so hard to be able to come here and face the challenge. I found out that one of the guys' birthday is the day before mine, and we are the same age. He struggled to tell me that it was a coincidence, but I was impressed because that is quite a complicated term. Later, I was able to talk to the 30 year-old man who had only studied English three months before coming here, and he decided that, for the price, I should trade him my apartment for his College Courts apartments. I declined, but I did accept his offer to play ping-pong, at which both of us confessed to be horrible, in the future. Before we left, he slightly bowed before me as his customary way of saying thank you, and I felt so honored. It was a great experience, but it will continue every Wednesday night at 5:00 when we have conversation classes. I am so excited. About making new friends and learning so much. I have already been challenged to see my language and culture and other languages and cultures in a new, enlightening way.
With all of that and despite the fact that I dealt with a total of about three hours of earth science today, it has been a pretty good day. It started with a great debate with myself over whether or not I should do the Shakespeare journal. It's an optional project that would replace 10% of our paper grades for the course. It requires three written pages a week about what ever play we're reading, and once you decide to do it, you have to do it. And if you decide not to participate, you can't later change your mind in hopes of raising your grade. I think it would be good for my in at least two aspects. One, it'll make me keep up with the reading and enhance my understanding. Two, it should help my grade. The problem, however, was that I had not done my journal for today, and he had told us that he was going to have us make our commitment to it this morning. Out of laziness, I found myself in a predicament. I knew I would end up regretting not doing the journal, but I just inexplicably didn't do mine for today. But luckily, ol' Dr. Brown forgot about the whole journal thing, so I have until Tuesday to redeem myself. If only I can convince myself to take advantage of this opportunity.
After earth science lecture, Justin, Alisha, and I headed for the Curris Center for a little lunch. On the way in, I noticed the readership program thing was going on and giving away copies of USA Today. I am quite enthusiastic about this program, so when the lady asked me to fill out a survey, I gladly obliged. She also handed me a ticket on which I would write my name and phone number so that I could be entered into a drawing where the winner would receive a $50 gift certificate to the University Bookstore. I grabbed my paper and went on my merry way. Well, about an hour or so ago, my phone rang, and seeing that it was an on-campus phone number, I figured it might have been one of my FY girls since I had emailed them last night to see how they're doing. But no, it was Jim Baurer at the Curris Center letting me know that my name had been drawn! I never win anything like that. Anyway, I need to remember to go by the office and pick it up.
I totally missed out on Winslowless Wednesday last night, which is quite a sad time, but some time last Spring, I signed up with help with the International Student Ministry at the BSU. Last night was the Welcome Dinner, and I went early to help set up and then stay for the event. I have never in my life had so much fun--at least at the BSU. I made three friends from Taiwan. I barely ate any of my spaghetti because, one, it wasn't all that edible, and two, we were talking non-stop. Between the three of them, they represent a whole range of English proficiency, but that is just a barrier. They are so interested in the way of life here, so full of questions. They were so appreciative of me for spending time with them, but it was quite humbling. I have to realize that just because they do not speak my language perfectly, that does not mean they are not intelligent. They are very brave people who have worked so hard to be able to come here and face the challenge. I found out that one of the guys' birthday is the day before mine, and we are the same age. He struggled to tell me that it was a coincidence, but I was impressed because that is quite a complicated term. Later, I was able to talk to the 30 year-old man who had only studied English three months before coming here, and he decided that, for the price, I should trade him my apartment for his College Courts apartments. I declined, but I did accept his offer to play ping-pong, at which both of us confessed to be horrible, in the future. Before we left, he slightly bowed before me as his customary way of saying thank you, and I felt so honored. It was a great experience, but it will continue every Wednesday night at 5:00 when we have conversation classes. I am so excited. About making new friends and learning so much. I have already been challenged to see my language and culture and other languages and cultures in a new, enlightening way.
Wednesday, September 01, 2004
first days
I love the first day of every month, every year, every school year. All kinds of things. I like beginnings. And I like that there is a new month listed on my Blogger archives.
Speaking of firsts, I have officially finished my first week of working in the computer labs. It seems like I've been labbing it up for at least a month, but it has been interesting. I come in contact with all sorts of people. The irate who cuss me because they have to create an account and pay five cents per printed page. The paranoid who cover the screen every time I walk by to make sure I'm not reading their personal letters. The helpless who make me do everything for them. And then there are the friendly who don't cause any problems and thank me when they leave. Sometimes there are combinations of such folks. This morning I had a paranoid, helpless, and friendly person all in one. And on Monday I made friends with a guy from Kenya who was very helpless, but very friendly. He asked me if I could help him with computers since he's already taking too many credits to add a computer course (like CSC helps anyone...), so he's going to come by on Fridays and I'll see what I can't do for him.
I faced the stark reality last night that this semester really is going to take some work. I have that realization every semester, and it scares the pants off of me. It felt just wonderful to arrive at my night class to realize I had done both of my homework assignments incorrectly and failed to read the chapter in the book. And just a few minutes ago, I opened up my Spanish online workbook to be reminded that all of it is in Spanish. Directions, questions, and I guess my answers should be, too, huh? Great. After all that talk of studying this summer, I never did it. But I have a feeling that nothing would have quite prepared me for Jaspanglish. Those are just a few of the challenges I'll be facing this semester.
Okay, y'all. I'm really trying to come up with something halfway interesting for you. Any ounce of creativity I might've had in the past has fled. I don't know what to write any more. I don't even have any pictures to show you. (That doesn't include the forty million shots of John Mayer.) I need to start taking some again. I guess I just haven't gotten into the swing of things yet. I love first days and beginnings, but they aren't always easy.
Speaking of firsts, I have officially finished my first week of working in the computer labs. It seems like I've been labbing it up for at least a month, but it has been interesting. I come in contact with all sorts of people. The irate who cuss me because they have to create an account and pay five cents per printed page. The paranoid who cover the screen every time I walk by to make sure I'm not reading their personal letters. The helpless who make me do everything for them. And then there are the friendly who don't cause any problems and thank me when they leave. Sometimes there are combinations of such folks. This morning I had a paranoid, helpless, and friendly person all in one. And on Monday I made friends with a guy from Kenya who was very helpless, but very friendly. He asked me if I could help him with computers since he's already taking too many credits to add a computer course (like CSC helps anyone...), so he's going to come by on Fridays and I'll see what I can't do for him.
I faced the stark reality last night that this semester really is going to take some work. I have that realization every semester, and it scares the pants off of me. It felt just wonderful to arrive at my night class to realize I had done both of my homework assignments incorrectly and failed to read the chapter in the book. And just a few minutes ago, I opened up my Spanish online workbook to be reminded that all of it is in Spanish. Directions, questions, and I guess my answers should be, too, huh? Great. After all that talk of studying this summer, I never did it. But I have a feeling that nothing would have quite prepared me for Jaspanglish. Those are just a few of the challenges I'll be facing this semester.
Okay, y'all. I'm really trying to come up with something halfway interesting for you. Any ounce of creativity I might've had in the past has fled. I don't know what to write any more. I don't even have any pictures to show you. (That doesn't include the forty million shots of John Mayer.) I need to start taking some again. I guess I just haven't gotten into the swing of things yet. I love first days and beginnings, but they aren't always easy.
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