Don't go breaking my heart.

The past week has been interesting, indeed.

• I got my nose pierced. This, of course, is old news these days.
• I had my first accident in which I am the one to blame. Backed into a car in the Corvette Lanes parking lot. You can get any classier than that.
• I found out my rent is going up and that my landlady wants me to sign a new contract. This puts me in a particularly precarious position as far as living arrangements go. Who knows where I'll be nine months from now, much less a year, which means I can't sign a year contract. Which means that I don't know where I'll be living, like, a month from now. Oh, I think I just had an instantaneous nervous breakdown.
• And other assorted matters of the heart which I cannot quite verbalize.

I am putting my Scholars Week presentation together. Me, oh my. What fun.

First thing I remember.

This title of this entry is in honor of the realization I had about the parallel structure of Paul Simon's "Late in the Evening" and Better than Ezra's "Recognize." Not that it's earth-shattering. It's just that I realized it all of a sudden and was surprised at how I had missed it for so long.

To be honest, the only reason I'm checking in here is to say that I've been feeling as intense need to be creative. Maybe it has something to do with spring. I've made a purse, which is what I am most proud of. I've redesigned this blog thing. Kinda. I've been shooting some pictures. I feel like busting out my watercolors. To paint what, I'm not sure.

The good question, though, is why the heck am I sitting in the library?

It's just this thing the seasons do.

I acknowledged my station in adulthood yesterday. I bought a living room suit. Sofa, chair, ottoman. Goodbye futon, hello real people furniture.

Spring break is over, and it signals the homestretch for my last semester of classes. Next semester is student teaching. That's it. Then graduation.

But there's lots to look forward to, you know, besides being an adult. Like going to Austria and assorted other European destinations with my best friend.

And wearing my new wardrobe, here and abroad. It's not new clothes, really. I just had a wardrobe renaissance today. I rearranged it and ended up with something quite nice. It involves lots of flip flops, skirts, and necklaces. Quite girly, in fact.

Oh, and I made myself a purse tonight. A hobo sling, if you will. Joy of joys.

On a family excursion to WalMart, I laid the most superficial (er, girly) stack of purchases on the conveyor belt that I've ever seen. Us Weekly magazine, makeup, and the American Beauty DVD. Not that American Beauty the film is superficial. But, you know, the whole beauty thing.

It's warm. My apartment windows are up and the fans are on. Leaves are budding. Blooms are blooming. I'm happy indeed.

The weight of tomorrow.

I took an hour-long nap today on a couch in Waterfield for no other reason than I couldn't make it home before I fell asleep. That was a strange experience. It was one of the best naps ever, and I took it while about a hundred people milled around me, getting their homework done.

I got three interlibrary loan books today. One of which I don't need anymore because it relates to research topic number two. I've opted for research topic version 3.5. I am glad practicum is almost over because I am actually quite excited about examining Sandra Cisneros and her book The House on Mango Street within the new American canon. It involves both of my majors and education, even. Hopefully I can stay motivated.

One of my professors is coming to observe me teaching tomorrow. It will be my last day at the school. I am a little stressed -- surprise, surprise -- because today's class got out of control. I am going to have to do an unexpected lesson tomorrow on how to use and to cite sources. Great fun.

This has been a great learning experience for me. I know that I have a long way to go to become an effective teacher (ooh, that phrasing feels like the product of being brainwashed by the teacher preparation program), and I am excited about having my own classroom with my own students to teach. I worry, though, how much I am making an impact on these students' futures while I thrash about, making a trial-and-error process of their educations. I wonder, after a week of making them think about their opinons on immigration, are they still closed minded? Tomorrow is my last chance -- or last cha, if you will -- to see to it that I'll be leaving these students in a better state than I found them.

The weight of tomorrow just got heavier.

I can't believe it, but it is true.

• I just taught an English II class for four days. Almost successfully.
• My best friend forever slash is on the road right now, less than two hours from Murray!
• The same man for whom I've driven over 2,000 miles (total round trip nileage) to see over the past few years, the same man who is on the cover of this week's Rolling Stone named as a Guitar God, the same man who just won 2 Grammy awards on Sunday is in this town right now. Murray. Kentucky.