Tuesday, October 04, 2005

In spite

What am I waiting for? Maybe we're all waiting for something, so certain that it will come that we ignore the reality of right now.

For me, I think I'm expecting I'll wake up one day and I'll be skinny. And I'll be a real teacher. And I'll be happily married. I think I expect these things to happen. To happen to me. Just to materialize and take over so I can quit stumbling around. These are the things that I feel that are expected of me. The things I'm supposed to become. And whether or not I make any progress toward them, I think they'll come to me. And maybe they will.

But I can't sit here and dawdle and wait and hope in a future that may or may not come.

I am more than dreams. I am more than illusions. I am more than the teacher or wife or whatever that I may or may not become.

We've all been given life. And we need to live it despite the life we've made up inside our heads.

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