It's only right.

My guess is that I pull this one out about once every .87 years. But I'm no mathematician.

current clothing: The long-sleeved gray shirt that I got at Goodwill to take to Honduras and these four-sizes-too-big Christmas pajamas pants that I shamelessly wear year-round.

current mood: Productive, apparently. Not productive productive. But just wanting to do something.

current taste: The aftertaste of a peppermint mocha truffle. Christmas clearance at Wal-Mart.

current hair: Curly, verging on frizzy. And close to needing a trim. I'm not used to getting my hair done more often that once every six months.

current annoyance: I've been sitting in this wooden kitchen chair for far too long now, and well, my butt hurts.

current smell: *sniff sniff sniff* Nothing (a la Yukon Cornelius). Actually, I keep thinking I smell caramel apples, but I must be making that up.

current thing you ought to be doing: Oh, this is easy. Updating grades. Planning Monday. Planning Tuesday. Planning the semester.

current jewelry: Big ol' earrings I got at Lane Bryant when I was eight dollars away from another discount bracket. I'm wearing these only because I managed to lose one of those silly earrings for which I paid way too much when I was distraught over losing one of my copper Bell's Drug Store earrings. O, the despair! Ahem, and my teacher watch. I'd be willing to bet that in all the instances of filling out this survey, I've never listed a watch here. My, how things change.

current book: I have a stack a mile high beside my bed, but truth be told, I'm only really trying to read Making a Literary Life right now. The first chapter calls upon the reader to write one thousand words a day, and I haven't managed to do it two days in a row. I feel like a fraud picking up the book to read Chapter Two.

current refreshment: I'm fresh out of my new invention, Tangerale. It's a glass of ginger ale with about two-thirds teaspoon Tang. Ay, que rico.

current worry: That I'll be unprepared for the last day of last semester and the first day of next semester, also known as Monday and Tuesday.

current crush: The cashier at Hobby Lobby. He's probably either a husband or a high schooler. Or homosexual. So it goes.

favorite celebrity: Hmm, I find this one more and more difficult to answer as the years pass. John Green? I don't know.

current longing: For one more week before school starts back. Just one? Aw, c'mon...

current music: Nada. My computer can't handle the internet and a music player.

current wish: That out-of-state tuition for master's degrees wasn't so exorbitant.

current lyric in your head: "You'll learn to hate me / But still call me baby"

current makeup: Physician's Formula that needs to be washed off.

current undergarments: This would require actually checking. This much I know: I am wearing some.

current regret: Not doing all of my teacherliness earlier in the break.

current desktop picture: Party lights on the camper. From several summers ago.

current plans for tonight/weekend: Tomorrow is Sunday, and by necessity, I will be a teacher in preparation for the coming days.

current cuss word du jour: Today? I think I'm clear today.

current disappointment: Hm, Sissy, Victoria, Kathryn, and I saw Tale of Despereaux today. It was a cute movie, but not exactly what I expected it to be.

current amusement: Looking at AT&T to see which features everyone on our plan has.

current IM/person you're talking to: One is the loneliest number.

current love: My bedroom. I rigged up some paper lantern garden lights over my mirror. It's all about the lighting.

current obsession: It might be safe to say that I'm not totally obsessed with anything at the moment. Knitting may have taken the prize just a few days back, though. I've found my balance.

current thing or things on your wall: The only actual thing that's not just scooted up or leaning against my bedroom wall is a little "antique" shelf that just happened to be the perfect height to hold DVDs.

current favorite book: I'm never good with this question. I did, about a month ago, decide who my favorite authors are: C. S. Lewis, Madeleine L'Engle, Anne Lamott, and John Green.

current favorite movie: Driving Lessons is still holding on for the win. Though I did just rewatch Love Actually for Christmas, and that cast just couldn't get any better. I like the Brits, apparently.

Considering the new year's resolve.

With the new year fewer than two days away, I am almost inspired to renew my dedication to this blog. Almost.

More than half of my school winter break (to be politically correct) has passed, and I am just now unearthing the tools of teacherliness that have conveniently been out of sight -- and undoubtedly out of mind. I'm trying to get last semester -- in all its incompleteness due to snow days -- graded and out of the way, but today, I found myself preparing for this coming semester during which I get to be an English teacher, too. In theory, it sounds exciting. A little bit, anyhow. We'll see. So I must carve out that path for myself and my students. Plus, I need to apply all of my lessons learned from this past semester to rethink my strategies and routines for this semester. Is organization next to godliness? Or is it preparedness?

And so it is now time to reflect upon that hideous false construct of the new year's resolution. I am leary of saying them out loud, much less writing them down, much less publishing them for others to see. I think it is a curse akin to that of the senior yearbook ad. (Refresher course: The couples who take out an ad in the back of the yearbook in order to profess their love for another are doomed to break up before the yearbooks come off the press.) I'm not sure I've accomplished any goal I've ever written down save purchasing an item on a grocery list, which is still a dubious example.

With the above in mind, I will not share my list of very specific tasks I have proposed for myself, both personal and professional. But there is a list! In my mind and nowhere else. Of course.

¡a leer!

I have the following: a teaching job that will officially begin in the fall, a long list of books that I want to read, and quite a bit of time. I shouldn't feel guilty about sitting around reading for a month or so, should I? Okay, good.

Here's the list.

• Lock and Key by Sarah Dessen -- I checked this book out from the public library and have only read thirteen pages. I am bound and determined to read the other four-hundred nine before the due date comes around. I have to earn my right to check out an unlimited number of books next time -- books I will check out, not read, and return late. And I want to be a librarian.
• Prince Caspian by C. S. Lewis -- I have, of course, already read this, but the movie comes out next week, and I feel obligated to re-read.
• I am the Messenger by Markus Zusak -- I bought this book on a recent (small) B&N binge. I read his book The Book Thief while I was in Honduras, love it, recommend it, and can't wait to read more from where it came from.
• Flash Fiction -- A compilation of short short stories, also purchased during the aforementioned bout of consumer therapy. I'm getting a feel for the form, reading a few pages at a time. Once, at four in the morning when I couldn't sleep.
• Malinche by Laura Esquivel -- I bought this hardback at a mark-down-mark-down price at the mall. I wanted to buy it at that fancy-pantsed bookstore in Seattle, but it was just too pricey. Now I've had it for several months and haven't touched it.
• Twilight by Stephenie Meyer -- I'm putting it on my library list. Allison, I blame you if I jump on the vampire wagon.

I'm going to pretend that putting this list on here will hold me accountable or something.

Getting it all together.

It's now less than two weeks before I go to Honduras. I am, of course, making a last minute scramble to collect all the things I need for the trip. Here are the highlights of my collection thus far:

• Plane tickets
• Malaria pills
• Hand-crank flashlight
• Craft supplies
• Chest-tightening cough

One of these things is not like the others. One of these things just doesn't belong.

Of course, I have quite a few more things to get a hold of. And a few to get rid of, too.

A wake-up call

Presenting installment número tres, in which I get a wake-up call and realize that I'm up to my old blogging tricks again.

I made this last night, so to update the info: I did get the application mailed, and I did get my shot in the arm. It hurts. Wah-wah. And I slept even later today. Of course, if I want to wake up early in the morning, I probably shouldn't stay up half the night making a silly video blog. Though, I have to say that I am learning so much about revising and editing a "text" through this process. So I'm going to tell myself that this is an exercise in improving my writing. Right.

Possible future topic of discussion: the word adventure. Look out.

So do I get a senior citizen discount at Golden Corral?

NOTE TO SELF: Check the middle-of-video screenshot before uploading it to YouTube. You're not flattering yourself at all.

Alright, not to spoil you guys or anything, but I've somehow managed a second...episode? Is that what we'd call it? I don't know.

Don't go breaking my heart.

The past week has been interesting, indeed.

• I got my nose pierced. This, of course, is old news these days.
• I had my first accident in which I am the one to blame. Backed into a car in the Corvette Lanes parking lot. You can get any classier than that.
• I found out my rent is going up and that my landlady wants me to sign a new contract. This puts me in a particularly precarious position as far as living arrangements go. Who knows where I'll be nine months from now, much less a year, which means I can't sign a year contract. Which means that I don't know where I'll be living, like, a month from now. Oh, I think I just had an instantaneous nervous breakdown.
• And other assorted matters of the heart which I cannot quite verbalize.

I am putting my Scholars Week presentation together. Me, oh my. What fun.

I can't believe it, but it is true.

• I just taught an English II class for four days. Almost successfully.
• My best friend forever slash is on the road right now, less than two hours from Murray!
• The same man for whom I've driven over 2,000 miles (total round trip nileage) to see over the past few years, the same man who is on the cover of this week's Rolling Stone named as a Guitar God, the same man who just won 2 Grammy awards on Sunday is in this town right now. Murray. Kentucky.

Oh, she's leaving (leaving) on that midnight train to Pooletown.

Things I know for certain:

Between now and Christmas, I will be knitting until my hands bleed. I'm going to try my bloody hand at socktops.

There's a margarita out there the size of a kiddie pool with my name on it. Pass me the water wings.

I will be studying for the PRAXIS at some point during the break. The Spanish and education parts. Not my idea of fun, unless I convince myself that the practice questions are Jeopardy questions.


Things I do not know for certain:

What my final grades for this semester are going to look like.

If I will have internet at home over break. Seems as if there is a strong possibility that I will.

If I'm really going to be awake enough to make the trip home.

Well, most everything, really.

I know that you don't care.

Wednesday
German, Quia workbook due
Teach Dr. Howe's 202 class
Present COM 181 project, turn in paper
Tutor

Thursday
Give culture presentation
Turn in two papers for Dr. Howe
Tutor

Monday
COM final
Waag's final

Tuesday
German final

Thursday
Culture final and paper due
MLA final paper due
Sign up for PRAXIS exam

I'm not sure if that exercise of writing it out like that helped or not. And suddenly, finals week actually looks a little scary.

Whatever.

Overdue trip to Wal-Mart will commence in five, four, three, two...

More in the way of Facebook theft and song surveys.

I am to choose an artist and answer these questions / finish these sentences by only using song titles belonging to the chosen artist.

Mayer, of course.

Are you male or female? Daughters.

Describe yourself. Bigger Than My Body.

If you could go anywhere, where would you go? Why Georgia.

Your best friend is... Comfortable.

Your favorite color is... Another Kind of Green.

What's the weather like? Covered in Rain. (I really do hear thunder out there.)

If you life was a TV show, what would it be called? Wait Until Tomorrow.

What is life to you? Wheel.

What's the best advice you have to give? Why Did You Mess With Forever?

If you could change your name, what would you change it to? Victoria. Well, it's either that or Lenny.

Lighten up.

It's definitely time for some mindlessness.

This is the "soundtrack to my life" thing where I put iTunes on shuffle and let it pick the songs that will accompany the following scenes in my life. I stole this off someone's Facebook. Isn't it funny the things that it assumes would be a part of everyone's life? Anyway, no time for analyzing. I just thought that some of these were kind of appropriate, some funny. And what's up with all the James Taylor?

Opening credits: "Picture" - Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow
First day at school: "My Stupid Mouth" - John Mayer
Falling in love: "Levon" - Taylor Hicks
The fight: "Things Change" - Dwight Yoakam
Breaking up: "Reelin' in the Years" - Steely Dan
Prom: "Walking Man" - James Taylor
Life's okay: "Girl on the Wing" - the Shins
Mental breakdown: "I Walk the Line" - Joaquin Phoenix
Driving: "Sweet Baby James" - James Taylor
Flashback: "Handy Man" - James Taylor
Getting back together: "At the Stars" - Better Than Ezra
Wedding: "You've Got a Friend" - James Taylor
Birth of child: "Blue Eyed Soul" - Wilco
Final battle: "One of These Things First" - Nick Drake
Death scene: "She's Only Happy in the Sun" - Ben Harper
Funeral: "Yesterday" - the Beatles
End credits: "Empty" - Ray LaMontagne

Make no mistake; this is not a poem.

I know it could be worse. It always can be.
I know that it's all probably self-inflicted.
I know that it's probably PMS.

But I'm tired of working and not getting finished.
I'm tired of light bulbs blowing.
I'm tired of dragging soggy leaves onto the carpet.
I'm tired of being in the library
and hearing people text messaging
and the TAB and M not working on my keyboard
and someone sitting in my place.
I'm tired of the long line at the coffee shop.
I'm tired of detours.
I'm tired of too many pennies in my change purse.
I'm tired of all these little things,
even if they happen only once.

I know that the grass really isn't greener on the other side of right now.
I know that hindsight is 20/20.
I know that I will look back and sigh.
I know that what doesn't kill me makes me stronger.
I know that this too shall pass.
I know that I'm making a mountain out of a thousand little molehills.

But is it too much to ask to be bored?
To entertain whimsy,
To go out because I want to and because I can,
And not to worry that I'm screwing up my entire future
with five minutes of breathing easy?

For those to come.

Today is the last day of Banned Books Week. If there is any one issue that I actually do care about at all, it is the freedom to read. Thanks to ALA, here is a list of The 100 Most Frequently Challenged Books of 1990-2000.

For fun, I am going to bold the ones I have read. Because I am a little lazy, there are ones that I own, but I haven't read them yet. They will be italicized. And there is a far-too-large amount of them that I am ashamed to say that I haven't read, but have full intent to do so. As a sort of goal-setting exercise for myself, I'll underline them.

Of the books that I have read on this list, I want to thank every teacher who made me read it, every library from which I borrowed it, every store from whose shelves I purchased it, and my parents for allowing me the freedom to read it. You are all wise folks.

1. Scary Stories (Series) by Alvin Schwartz
2. Daddy's Roommate by Michael Willhoite
3. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
4. The Chocolate War by Robert Cormier
5. The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
6. Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
7. Harry Potter (Series) by J.K. Rowling
8. Forever by Judy Blume
9. Bridge to Terabithia by Katherine Paterson
10. Alice (Series) by Phyllis Reynolds Naylor
11. Heather Has Two Mommies by Leslea Newman
12. My Brother Sam is Dead by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier
13. The Catcher in the Rye by J.D. Salinger
14. The Giver by Lois Lowry
15. It's Perfectly Normal by Robie Harris
16. Goosebumps (Series) by R.L. Stine
17. A Day No Pigs Would Die by Robert Newton Peck
18. The Color Purple by Alice Walker
19. Sex by Madonna
20. Earth's Children (Series) by Jean M. Auel
21. The Great Gilly Hopkins by Katherine Paterson
22. A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L'Engle
23. Go Ask Alice by Anonymous
24. Fallen Angels by Walter Dean Myers
25. In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak
26. The Stupids (Series) by Harry Allard
27. The Witches by Roald Dahl
28. The New Joy of Gay Sex by Charles Silverstein
29. Anastasia Krupnik (Series) by Lois Lowry
30. The Goats by Brock Cole
31. Kaffir Boy by Mark Mathabane
32. Blubber by Judy Blume
33. Killing Mr. Griffin by Lois Duncan
34. Halloween ABC by Eve Merriam
35. We All Fall Down by Robert Cormier
36. Final Exit by Derek Humphry
37. The Handmaid's Tale by Margaret Atwood
38. Julie of the Wolves by Jean Craighead George
39. The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
40. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Girls: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Daughters by Lynda Madaras
41. To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
42. Beloved by Toni Morrison
43. The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
44. The Pigman by Paul Zindel
45. Bumps in the Night by Harry Allard
46. Deenie by Judy Blume
47. Flowers for Algernon by Daniel Keyes
48. Annie on my Mind by Nancy Garden
49. The Boy Who Lost His Face by Louis Sachar
50. Cross Your Fingers, Spit in Your Hat by Alvin Schwartz
51. A Light in the Attic by Shel Silverstein
52. Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
53. Sleeping Beauty Trilogy by A.N. Roquelaure (Anne Rice)
54. Asking About Sex and Growing Up by Joanna Cole
55. Cujo by Stephen King
56. James and the Giant Peach by Roald Dahl
57. The Anarchist Cookbook by William Powell
58. Boys and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
59. Ordinary People by Judith Guest
60. American Psycho by Bret Easton Ellis
61. What's Happening to my Body? Book for Boys: A Growing-Up Guide for Parents & Sons by Lynda Madaras
62. Are You There, God? It's Me, Margaret by Judy Blume
63. Crazy Lady by Jane Conly
64. Athletic Shorts by Chris Crutcher
65. Fade by Robert Cormier
66. Guess What? by Mem Fox
67. The House of Spirits by Isabel Allende
68. The Face on the Milk Carton by Caroline Cooney
69. Slaughterhouse-Five by Kurt Vonnegut
70. Lord of the Flies by William Golding
71. Native Son by Richard Wright
72. Women on Top: How Real Life Has Changed Women's Fantasies by Nancy Friday
73. Curses, Hexes and Spells by Daniel Cohen
74. Jack by A.M. Homes
75. Bless Me, Ultima by Rudolfo A. Anaya
76. Where Did I Come From? by Peter Mayle
77. Carrie by Stephen King
78. Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
79. On My Honor by Marion Dane Bauer
80. Arizona Kid by Ron Koertge
81. Family Secrets by Norma Klein
82. Mommy Laid An Egg by Babette Cole
83. The Dead Zone by Stephen King
84. The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
85. Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison
86. Always Running by Luis Rodriguez
87. Private Parts by Howard Stern
88. Where's Waldo? by Martin Hanford
89. Summer of My German Soldier by Bette Greene
90. Little Black Sambo by Helen Bannerman
91. Pillars of the Earth by Ken Follett
92. Running Loose by Chris Crutcher
93. Sex Education by Jenny Davis
94. The Drowning of Stephen Jones by Bette Greene
95. Girls and Sex by Wardell Pomeroy
96. How to Eat Fried Worms by Thomas Rockwell
97. View from the Cherry Tree by Willo Davis Roberts
98. The Headless Cupid by Zilpha Keatley Snyder
99. The Terrorist by Caroline Cooney
100. Jump Ship to Freedom by James Lincoln Collier and Christopher Collier

Heart aflutter.

The loves of my life -- at the moment:

• Butterscotch discs, by the bagfull. I've been on a tear to find them. Rite Aid finally got me my fix. Don't know what my deal is. This summer, it was butterscotch-dipped cones from DQ.
• Construction paper. I've taken to making my own postcards to send to people, a la construction paper, index cards, and Mod Podge. I found fun new colors at the store today. Hoorah.
• The prospect of Scrubs being syndicated on Comedy Central starting Monday night. I've been wanting to get into this show. I've looked at every video rental joint in Murray, and ain't a one of 'em got the seasons on DVD. I've never even seen the show, but I hear it's good. You should look at the reviews on Amazon. A solid five stars. Season Four is sold out at WalMart. That's gotta say something. Anyway, I have to figure out how to set my VCR to tape while I'm at class. For the love of Zach Braff, I swear.
• Dictionary.com. A love that will never die.
• "Three More Days" by Ray LaMontagne. It's on his new album Till the Sun Turns Black, and you can hear the song here. I don't handle heavy new-music-saturation very well. With Continuum out there now, it's got the priority. I'm going to try to digest one Ray song at a time, I guess. This one has my attention right now.
• Windows-up / windows-down weather. It depends on your location. Windows up in your house, apartment, or room. Windows down in your car.

We have a good thing going.

Lessons Learned, Courtesy Summer 2006

When one lives out of a suitcase – or several suitcases – personal items tend to go missing.

I have a very long way to go on my quest to speak Spanish with a modicum of fluency.

While rainbows are often considered signs of peace, they are, for my family anyhow, more like harbingers of hard times to be gotten through safely.

I really will miss being a computer lab supervisor.

Getting around without my own personal means of transportation is not nearly as difficult as it may seem, but having my car back is like reuniting with an old friend.

Slipping knives into your mother's carry-on luggage is only funny after airport security clears you to board by reason of insanity.

Mountains really are my favorite vacation destination. To look at -- not to climb.

Changing my own guitar strings really is not the insurmountable task I had assumed.

General household cleaning really ought to be done on a regular -- preferrably weekly -- basis rather than attempting a huge overhaul once every two years.

Having a camera means nothing if you don't carry it with you. Subsequent lesson: Having a bulky camera is incredibly inconvenient.

Pay very close attention to bills from Murray State University.

I really do love music. I am still on a Ray LaMontagne high, by the way.

And lastly, I know I've said it multiple times before, but many things have made it apparent to me that this particular summer is a very distinct dividing line between two eras of my college career -- the first four years and these last 1.5 years. I can name you some very obvious differences between these two chapters, but I get the sense that it's something more. I don't know what that is yet, but I have my eyes open.

oh my darling

Spending Christmas night in the Murray. Mom, Pops, and I have made it a tradition. Christmas Eve at Sissy's. Come to Murray on Christmas Day. Do dinner at Asian Buffet. Spend the night here in order to pay the rent and try to make it worthwhile. We'll be back home tomorrow, and the 2005 home-stretch looms.

I'm not sure how well I like writing sixes.

The Christmas spoils are good. Lots of movies, including the Harry Potters. Some books. Some music. Some gift certificates. It's all good. But, to be as cheesy as possible, the real Christmas spirit kicked in when Kathryn opened her first couple presents and called them by name -- baaaay-bee! and bot-tle! And there were a few gifts that I gave out that went over very well. That makes me happy.

The rest-of-break plans are a bit hazy. Nothing planned. Nothing stressful. I can't complain.

¡ay, caramba!

I have just become intensely frightened of the semester to come. Why didn't this occur to me earlier? Possibly because it would not have been good for my health.

Okay, it's going to be two grammary/conversationy Spanish classes. Plus a 400-level (400-level!) Spanish-American lit course. A 500-level (500-level!) English lit class that might as well be considered a foreign language course because it's over Old and Middle English texts. My only saving grace -- and God knows I'll need it -- is my classroom com class, which is notoriously cake. *sigh* And book selections are up online. Looking at $400-ish. The Spanish classes are running, as usual, about a hundred bucks a-piece.

I'm-a be reading Spanish literature over break. Were it a perfect world.

Last final tomorrow. Spanish. Should be no big deal. I already know that I made a 94 on my HELL final. I'm a bit concerned with world lit, but the chips will fall as they may. I have to work on Friday morning, and then my Fall 2005 obligations will be officially met.

Come New Years, it'll be 2006. That means we will be, looking at the timeline, nearer to 2010 than we will be to 2000. Surreal.

Ragged

Today has been the kind of day that makes me feel like a person with things to do. You know the kind. The person that flutters about from one thing to the next, never stopping long enough to catch a breath. In a way it's fun. But thank God I only do this on Wednesdays. (Today was extra-fluttery.) I'd burn out quick.

8:30 am - 9:20 am History of the English Language

9:30 am - 12:00 pm Work, also known as Working Furiously on My Short Story to Get it Finished

12:00 pm - 12:20ish pm Spending Way Too Much Money and Time on Getting Fourteen Copies of My Story Made

12:30 pm - 1:20 pm Lunch with Ryan

1:30 pm - 2:20 pm The Spanish Inquisition

2:30 pm - 5:30 pm Fiction Workshop

5:30 pm - 6:15ish pm Hang Out with International Students

6:30 pm - 7:45 pm Eat Some Supper and Make Really Cute Acceptance Letter from Hogwarts as a Project for Teaching Lit

8:00 pm - 9:30 pm Tutor Erin and Jessica in Spanish

And that brings me up to the time when I came home, finally took my shoes off, put some laundry in the washer, and made me a hot cocoa. I should be asleep in a matter of minutes.

Minutiae

Having added Spanish as a major, each class period of 301 makes me want to drop it. Drop it hard.

My workshop and my Hovie think my story is great. They see something I don't. My writing sees something I don't. (They said my narrator is desperate, compulsive, and self-torturing. They said my implied auditor is a son-of-a-bitch, a user, and too good for the narrator. Thank you, workshop.)

McDonald's has a USA Today stand beside the building. Quoted on the front page of today's USA Today: McDonald's is still a place where you should be ashamed to bring your kids.

At the drive-thru window:
"Two cheeseburgers?"
"Yes."
"No pickle?"
"No cheese."

Sometimes, life feels like a movie. Like when you're waiting at a deserted bus stop and you're not even sure the bus is coming for you. Like when you make a dinner date with an old best friend you haven't seen in years because she's pregnant and scared as hell.