Tuesday, October 05, 2004

(ir)responsibility

With all the "St. Patrick's Day" references going on in people's journals, the Heavier Things Tour 2003 shirt I busted out today, and the absolutely icy coldness that met me when I stepped out of my door this morning, the line "here comes the cold" has been emblazoned on my brain. (And it's not even SPD season yet. All hail November.) But the torture has been that I couldn't, could not, remember the next line. I basically knew that it was "break out the winter clothes," but I couldn't get myself to say it. You know why? Because the tune of "here comes the cold" in my mental jukebox registers something resembling "I know a girl." "Daughters" (and might I add that as much of a die-hard John Mayer fan that I am, I didn't realize for a long time that it was released on the radio) and "St. Patrick's Day" have been all jumbled up inside my head. So all day, until now when I pulled out my trusty Room For Squares CD jacket and confirmed the lyrics, I've been singing this: "Here comes the cold. She puts the color inside of my world."

I need to make a confession. I am one completely irresponisble, ungrateful squanderer. Aside from yesterday's passive citizenship, I've screwed up again. Okay. Sunday at Sissy's, Mom gave me some cash. Like forty dollars worth of cash. Because I was not near my purse, I just stuck it in my pocket. I knew that I shouldn't have put it there, but I did. And with my usual style of procrastination, I told myself I'd put it where it belonged later. I didn't. Today, I remember digging in my pocket for something and feeling the money. (Yes, I'm wearing the same unwashed jeans.) And then later, it was gone. Yes, gone. It's not here. It's somewhere on campus or any someone's pocket or wherever. But I don't have it.

Just like with my non-registration, I know the consequences. I can't complain about the election. Whatever. That whole soap-box gets on my nerves anyway. And I know that the losing of this money means forty dollars less in my pocket. Again, whatever. I'll just have to be more careful with spending. The real problem is me. How ungrateful can I be that I just throw these privileges, these gifts around without concern? But I'm not too down on myself about it. Yes, they were immature things to do (well, not to do), but recognizing them and learning from them is a maturing process. For that, I am thankful. If I'd never lost the money, would I ever have realized this?

Um, in other news, I've gotten two tests back. Spanish: 94.5. Earth science: 93. Now, only if I can keep this up. I have a BarbCobb test Friday. And a great amount of other mid-termy type things to do. And I need to be catching up on my work for my night class. So I'll be doing that now.

1 comment:

Jackie Goodtimes said...

Hey girl. I, too, am ready for some St. Patrick's Day season to get here. I just wanted to say that I miss hanging out with you and that we need to get together.