Tuesday, February 15, 2005

spring magic

I probably look like something ridiculous that fell off the trash wagon. And I don't care. When I saw that weather.com was predicting 70 degrees for today and weatherforyou.com, probably erroneously, was predicting an even greater 71 degrees today--yes, another degree matters--I put on a tee-shirt that I normally only sleep in (that'd be my Broerman & Sons COACH shirt), and when I realized that none of the socks I particularly like were clean, I slid on the sandals. I don't feel like I'm coercing the weather. I like to think of it more as encouraging it.

I have a tendency to forget, but Dr. Waag just walked into the library a few minutes ago as he does every morning (except today he's not clad in the whole trenchcoat and hat get up) and made me remember. Chances are, I've told you, but let's just make it official, huh? I applied to study abroad in Spain this summer. If all goes as planned, I'll be spending a little more than the month of June in Segovia. Living with a host family and all that. I'm excited! I just can't believe I went through with the application process. It was something like taking off a bandaid. It needs to go. You want it to go. But you're just kinda scared to pull it off. And when you do, it hurts a little, so you just rip it off as fast as you can. And then you're glad you did.

That's the strangest analogy in the history of analogies. But whatever. This weekend, Mom and I had a conversation about how I'm having a slight breakdown over the fact that I only have two semesters before I graduate, and that's taking only what's required of me. And then, of course, there's the whole thrusting me out into the world part from which I can't help but shrink. And I realized how sad it is to me to think that after this semester, my Spanish language education will formally be over. All of this was multiplied by the fact that I feel that I have to get out in four years and that I know that goal is really ridiculous. And the truth is that I've been feeling this pressure from the parents. So after that talk with Mom, I've decided to go to Spain and add a semester to my college career. And it excites me very much. I believe I have the capabilities to develop a strong use of the language, and this trip will benefit me in so many other ways. And as for the extra semester, that means I get to take some classes that don't exactly fall straight from the Murray bible. More Spanish, perhaps? Creative writing courses? Maybe even an art class? I'm not sure. I haven't gone through an figured it all out yet, but either way, it's exciting. And I feel much freer.

There's a revision of my personal narrative due today, so it would be wise to work on that. But chances are, I'll do a revision of my collegiate future instead. Also, I'll probably be following some of the resource links on the KIIS website so that I can learn all about this far away place that I jerked up and decided to go to without any real consideration. What a decision maker am I.

Today feels right. Like a day in the spring semester that always has a way of being just a little more magical than the fall.

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