I have to employ every ounce of my willpower not to title every rainy Monday blog entry "rainy days and mondays." But today really felt like one. I don't know what's up.
I think it's Spanish. I think I'm having an involuntary panic attack about my lack of Spanish agility. I feel like I don't know a thing about it. Courtney and I did some little presentation today about newspaper articles. It was nothing really, but we both pretty much bombed it. After ours, Bodevin began making some speech about speaking so everyone can understand. I don't know. I'm not sure what he was saying, and that scares me. I don't know if I have higher expectations of myself now or what, but I feel like a backslidden Spanish speaker. After class, I saw Dr. Howe. We conversed a bit. I did okay, but I'm now remembering everything I said incorrectly. I couldn't get on an elevator fast enough. Why didn't I duck for the stairs?
I know I am overreacting. But let me be totally honest with you. I fear failure. I don't know whose expectations I'm floundering about trying to meet, but I feel like I'm drowning in them. And they aren't very high, which is worse.
I thought I learned a lot about confidence this summer. Maybe not.
Oh, I know what this is all about. Give me a week, and I'll recover. I think I need some tea.