Tuesday, September 07, 2004


I'm not sure if I'm changing them or if they are changing themselves--and me in the process. I'm coming to the realization that if I'm going to be a teacher, or writer or anything for that matter, I'm going to have to start exerting a little more effort. I have to strive for excellence because mediocrity doesn't cut it. And I do want to be a teacher. Sometimes, the scarier it sounds, the more I know it is where I belong. I'm starting to choose challenge over easy. And of course, I'm starting small. Like with that whole Shakespeare journal thing. I know I'd rather not do it, but I know it is going to help me in the long run. I'm beginning to notice little changes like that that I'm making. I'm starting to be more productive than spin my wheels in procrastination. I'm shooting beyond completeness and into quality. So maybe I haven't gotten very far yet, but my mind is heading in that direction. It's quite intimidating but comforting all at the same time when you realized that, when you weren't looking, a little bit of growing up happened. Intimidating because it takes you further down the line into the unknown. Comforting because it wasn't nearly as painful as you had imagined. Well, at least sometimes.

But being caught up in all this priority-rearranging is dangerous. It would be easy to believe that those things that are truly the most important naturally rise to the top on their own. And maybe they do, but left to their own devices, I imagine some unhealthy things could take weighty priority. Yes, school and other educational/vocational experiences are quite important, and I'd say they are moving up the ladder. Maybe they haven't really been relocated, but I'm just starting to pay more attention to them. I don't, however, want them to be the entire focus of my life. As valuable as they are, some things have a greater significance when all is said and done.

There are so many things that deserve my attention that are receiving none. And there are those that I should ignore, but I don't. So forgive me for any neglect during this time of remodeling. But I want to make sure I get this done right.

1 comment:

Jackie Goodtimes said...

Hey Cass... I was gonna see if you could let me see your blog skin and borrow a few elements. I love how yours has the "recently" and such. It would make my life. Love ya chick.