Tuesday, November 11, 2003

i'm okay if you're okay with wastin' time

*sigh* It feels good to breathe. When I'm stressed out about doing something, I don't breathe until I've finished. So right now, I should not be breathing, but I am.

Today has been an interesting day to be me in the world of academia. We started things off right in Humanities. [Note: You'll probably never hear me say that again.] I got an 85 on a paper that I didn't even watch the movie that it was over. I racked up 5 points of extra credit by displaying my Rule of Thirds skills-- thank you, Cat-Dawg. That pushed my test grade of 92 up to a 97. And we're all cool. Until I have to come back to the room to finish up that short story. I called upon the muses and got the last-minute-crunch adrenaline a-flowing. It worked. I was a page short, but you know, what can you do? But right before I got to enjoy the satisfaction of turning that draft in, I was handed my long-awaited graded poetry revisions. Yeah, I got a B+ on them and the poetry part of the class altogether. Must I reiterate? I probably deserve a B+. I should be happy with that. But I have sources that tell me some people who did not deserve As did indeed receive them. Looks like I'll be slashing some tires tonight. With all of that out of the way, it was time to prepare for tomorrow. I was supposed to have three pages of my research paper done. But in a vision, I remembered ol' Marcie Johnson saying that this draft could be hand-written. So what if that three pages of crap I wrote doesn't have sources, even though that was the whole purpose of the assignment? Now I should be studying for that Spanish test tomorrow. Luckily, I know that I'm not going to be alone when it turns me over its knee and rips me a new one. My whole class is sucking it up. But that's probably not going to stop me from attempting to slit my wrist (the correct way, of course) with the test paper. It'll probably take all class period, so I'm probably just going to hand Mica a blank, slightly bloody test. That'll get me far in life. Oh, yeah, and I'm sorry for that graphically morbid mental image I just gave you.

Enough whining, right? I guess so. But my life is so boring that it's about all I know to do right now. This semester is whoopin' my tail. Not so much that I'm not going to do well, but it's taking a lot out of me to do it. Of course, all of this would be easier if I didn't just waste all my time away. But what fun would that be? I just tell myself that when due dates and test dates come around, I either have my homework done or I don't, I'm either studied up or I'm not, and when that date has passed, it has passed. (Anybody feeling a little Epictetusy?) I have to ask myself, is it really worth getting all worked up over? Most of the time, the answer is no. I just wish I could convince myself of that.

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