on an evening such as this, it's hard to tell if i exist

I could go to sleep right now. Much of today seems hard to remember. This week is slipping by, and before I know it, Christmas break will be here. All the stress of school will be on a four week hiatus. Four weeks sounds so long. So much can happen in a month.

So I about have all my stuff done. Tomorrow will begin the end. By the end of the day, I will be finished with three of my classes--one in which I don't even have a final. That's creative writing. I'm going to miss that class, that group of people, so much. I'll take my camera, just in case the opportunity to take a picture presents itself. So I have to finish revising my story, collect my portfolio, and pick out a poem and a passage of my story to read. We're having a reading party. Whoops, I forgot to buy food. Eh, oh well.

I have noticed that I don't begin to appreciate something until I see it walking out the door. I have done this a lot. I realize just how cool certain people are right before they are about to be taken out of my life, and I only have a few moments to spare. Today, I realized how much I'm going to miss Eric PrePharm in my Spanish class. He's just too cool. And Michelle from my English classes. And what about that Bill guy from EDP? Where've these people been all semester? Good question.

Though I'm not really sure what I've been thinking about, I feel like my mind has been working over-time to get something sorted out. I feel like I'm trying to understand something, have an epiphany of some sort. I feel like I'm on the verge of grasping the meaning of life or something. Okay, maybe that's a little drastic, but I just don't feel settled. Like I need to stop everything I'm doing and collect my thoughts. It's chaos up there in my mind. And it doesn't look like it's going to get a chance to chill the eff out for a little while. I'm looking forward to that moment, when I breathe a sigh of relief. But from what? I'm still figuring that out...