Tuesday, May 18, 2004

it might be a quarter-life crisis

in my ears
any given thursday
artist: john mayer
song: why georgia

This is definitely my favorite version of this song. Just thought I'd let you know in case you didn't already.

Holly's post tonight got me on a little ramble while I was commenting. As you will be able to read, she found some "coupons" that I made her for her birthday when we were seniors. It's so strange to think how different the coupons would be if I was making them now. I know that we would be singing John Mayer songs (or various other artists' songs) instead of country songs. And we wouldn't be driving by Mr. Roy's house, but it'd be a coupon for a free trip the wrong way around the dorm circle. I guess those are the little things that change over time, but all of those little things add up to be big things.

I'm not so sure I can sit you down and list for you all the things that are different about me from when I was in high school, but it's there. It's not really that the younger me was necessarily bad. The younger me was just, well, younger, less experienced. Growing up has funny effects on people. It changes the way you think, the way you look at things. Time, and I'd say circumstance as a result of time, has a way of doing away with naivete and replacing it with cynicism. Of course, it's not all negative, but it just seems that people grow and thrive in a soil of hurt and loss. Like life is a series of what-doesn't-kill-you-makes-you-strongers.

Not to say that life doesn't have its joys. It just doesn't seem like those experiences are what propel the "growing up" process. I have to admit, it is when I recall the memories of being young and naive that they seem so good. Like thinking back on those coupons I gave Holly in high school. They were kinda silly then, but now they make me smile--and not quite in the same way they did when I made them.

And now I have to laugh a little bit. Here I sit talking like I'm some wise sage who has journeyed now the long road of life and can look back and share my insight with children and adults alike. I'm just twenty years old. I'll look back at this time in my life and have the same sentiments about it as I have about my childhood.

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